My apologies for the internet hiatusses – hiati – hiatii…?
I have been hard at work on The Potboiler – the adventure novel that will earn us enough money to move out of the suburbs onto a 1 acre piece of land…
This sudden spurt of energy was released by my decision to quit my Ph.D. program. Yes, I did it! The decision was a long time coming. What a neat construction that is, I hope I got it right; but “quit” is such an ugly word…
In any case, I have known for a long time that I don’t want to be an academic. I don’t like the atmosphere (interpersonal, social, political), I don’t like the rules (I keep on imagining things, which is not allowed), and I just can’t compete (I admit that).
The reason I took so long was typical conservative thinking: I’ve put so much work into it, so many years of my life; I agonized so over all that classes, the endless papers, the back-breaking exams… I only have the dissertation to go, why can’t I just get on with it!
That was just it: my argument for getting on with it was solely the past. Once I realized that that dissertation and the piece of paper that would result from it did not figure into my future at all, that they were not instrumental to my “getting on with it”… it was easy.
(I was also galvanized by a post by Gina on Cauldron Ridge Farm, on which I commented at length and rather wildly!)
Amie is now asking for things with the formula: “Mama, please may I…” I love this charming behavior but am worried she may take too much upon herself. For instance, last night, her sippy cup spilled and soaked our mattress, and when we noticed she cried: “I made a mess!” so sadly, so disappointed in herself – while it was really my fault, because I hadn’t closed it properly, which of course I proceeded to explain to her.
I do hope to return to some more regular blogging soon, because it keeps me sane after a day of frenzied potboiling.