Still Sick but Friends are Coming

Ah well, I’m still not feeling better. Now the voice has gone too, which is such a pity because I can’t read books to Amie, or sing a song, or tell a story. Or even ask her whether she wants cheese or peanut butter… She takes it all in stride, though, and often whispers back at me, very seriously and sympathetically.

This weekend we’re having friends over from NY City. We have visited them and crashed at their place too often, but they rarely reciprocrated. They lead such busy lives! But this weekend they’re coming!

At first I was bummed that I am so sick, and that they’re actually visiting during those worst three days – the having to run out of the room kind of cough, no voice, falling asleep in my chair/sofa because of the penicillin… But now I’m thinking: what a great time to spend with friends! I will just be a better listener. They’ll forgive me if I fall asleep. And they’re the our-home-your-home kind of friends, not the high-maintenance kind. So I can relax.

Amie is thrilled too: their daughter is a year older and Amie looks up to her immensely. It makes for very interesting conversations/interactions. Let’s see if she’ll readily share her toys!

Being Ill with a Two-Year-Old

Never in my life have I washed my hands so often! Twenty times a day?

I desperately don’t want Amie to get this throat-infection. It is so painful, it would just hurt me all over if now she got it too. I’m on penicillin, so it should be taken care of soon (if it’s bacterial, which we don’t know yet).  It’s been over three years since I’ve taken antibiotics… This one, however, seemed to just get worse and worse, not better, so I didn’t complain.

I remember a time when being sick was something of a luxury. I’d cut classes for a good reason, lie in bed all day with steaming tea, cookies, and books books books, and my journal of course. On certain sick days I would scribble up thirty pages in my moleskine (and I use the kind without lines because I have a small handwriting). I would read a novel cover to cover…

And sleep, oh sleep! I would sleep. You know? Sleep?

Yeah, that ain’t happenin’ anymore.

Today, on a low fever, I visited the doctor, did grocery shopping, put all that stuff away, did dishes, did (am doing) laundry, then picked up Amie from daycare, ran home with her in the pouring rain, and spent two hours getting her to nap. Something was dreadfully wrong with the blanket because she really did not want it on her Mama. And of course there is me trying not to cough, sniff, breathe in her face, making sure my hands didn’t touch her hands, etc…

Then I extracted myself from her sleeping body (sprawling, top-heavy, all breath and warmth). Then I had lunch. Now I am here, at the laptop, trying not to cough too much. This afternoon and evening it’s all me, because DH has a dinner – the kind where toddlers aren’t invited, and so neither are babysitter-reluctant Mamas…

My tea is ready. “Throat Coat,” it’s called, but despite its horrid name it’s rather yummy, with licorice.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Painting Pumpkins

Amie painting pumpkins (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

Another painting project: painting pumpkins. They offer a nice surface to a brush loaded with acrylic paint.

Amie painting pumpkins (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

As you can see, Baba didn’t excape from the crafting project unscathed. But the pumpkin looks fantastic! One of these days we’ll sit down and Amie can add some features to it with yellow or white… probably she’ll paint the whole thing back to its original orange, which is her favorite color!

I caught a bad throat-infection and am lying low. The main thing is to “stay away” from Amie. I would hate for her to catch it as it’s so painful. I’m sleeping on the couch and I can tell she misses me in the bed  (*): she’s a little more sensitive during the day. I keep watching for signs that she is ill too – a sneeze, a little cough, a funny throaty sound… So far so good!

(*) Her own little bed is still there, but because it’s only Baba in the bedroom now she is back to co-sleeping in the big bed.

Global Disaster

Ok, very very depressing post here… I repeat: very…

Who hasn’t seen that old tv-movie, The Day After? I watched it, on Belgian television, when I was about twelve or thirteen years old. I don’t think my parents knew what it was about, and they probably weren’t paying much attention as it unfolded, because otherwise they would have yanked me away immediately. I still remember the many weeks of depression, anxiety and nightmares that followed it.

Clicking through the channels last week I stumbled upon a rerun. DH warned me: should you watch this? But of course I am not a kid anymore – whatever that means. He became annoyed at it because it is such a bad movie, but I was (again) glued to the television.

What captured me 20 year ago captured me now: the slow decline of individuals (physical, emotional, spiritual), of society and civilization in the aftermath of nuclear war. It’s a long movie, so there’s lots of time for declining. The grind of it, the slow seeping away of hope is just excruciating. And you know that that’s how it would be. Worse, even.

This time, what stood out was the scene in which farmers congregate wtih an official to be briefed on how to replant the crops. The idea is that they scrape away the top layer of the topsoil that is contaminated with fall-out. The farmers nearly rebel. There is no more gas for vehicles  – there’s a neat shot of a number plate being trod underfoot - and only some horses and carts. And what to do with the dead soil? And what is safe? And what to grow?

Someone has posted the entire movie in segments on YouTube (thanks a lot: now I can revisit my obsession endlessly!), and you can view the scene here, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Then I read Sharon’s post, about a study that shows that the only way to avoid the critical 2 degree temperature rise is to reduce all industrial emissions worldwide by 100%. This post also contains a link to an earlier post of Sharon’s about what her children’s future will look like. She writes that writing this piece made her cry. So did reading it, for me.

And to top it all off, I read in the news that there was an accidental firing of a Patriot missiles in Iraq. Nice going!

Do you ever have that feeling that you’re just pretending? Pretending that it will all be ok? That it won’t be so bad? You look at your child and you just can’t believe that she won’t have what we have – I’m not talking about Lego and bananas, but about water and food, health and safety.

You feel like you want to shield her from this knowledge – even if you can’t shield her from the future – and you want to let her be happy and carefree for as long as possible. But you also feel like you want to prepare her. And some days, well, the future looks so bleak that no kind of preparation seems adequate…

How do you deal with this kind of hopelessness? I know, I know: you stop watching The Day After! And you tell yourself to stop it, because this kind of thinking won’t do anyone any good. But beyond all those negatives?

Outing on a Fall Morning and a Yard Sale

Amie and Baba at the Larz Anderson Park, oct 07 (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

Amie and Baba at the Park 

Yesterday morning was blustery and a little cloudy, but sunny and quite balmy. The three of us went to the Larz Anderson Park, where Amie ran and ran, up and down the hill, in a field of leaves and dandelions, hemmed in by trees changed to all kinds of colors.

Was she tired afterwards! 

Blue flower at Larz Anderson park, oct 07 (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

On our way home we drove past a huge yard sale for a neighborhood school’s extended day program. It was very child-oriented, with heaps of children’s clothes, piles of books, and boxes and boxes of toys. Amie was very happy to delay her nap for an hour.

We bought mainly books, and small plastic bags stuffed with Schleich animals, and two Groovy Girls dolls. Don’t ask me which ones: they’re hard to identify without their clothes on! When we pointed them out to her, Amie piped: “O!” Sold. We also bought a $100 bike trailer for $30! Now I have to get a bike too, and we’re off on adventure at no cost to the earth!

Children’s Yard Sale find (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

One of the books I found was Donald Hall’s Ox-Cart Man. I came home and read it cover to cover. The book’s subject matter fits exactly the other books we’ve been reading, about nature and the turning of the seasons, the joy and worth of manual labor, and family life. I’ve always been a fan of Hall’s brand of “American poetry”. And the illustrations by Barbara Cooney are gorgeous in the “American folk” approach…

To offset the “American” aspect, I also got Laurent de Brunhoff’s Babar Learns to Cook. I love how Babar, the King of the Elephants, does all these domestic things. And how the elephant kids are up to all kinds of mischief all the time. {UPDATE: We now actually read the Babar book and I have to put this straight: Babar doesn’t cook at all! His wife, Celeste does… Sigh.}

Last but not least, while I had eyes only for the books, DH scored this set of handpainted porcelains cups (4), saucers (8), coffeepot (1) and milk pitcher (1). We’re not thrifters – don’t have the time, the money, the room – but when it comes to delicate porcelain cups and saucers… and then it was a pity to break up the set, which only cost us $8!

porcelain Yard Sale find (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

Sweet Lullably

We love that creepy lullaby, “Didn’t Leave Nobody But The Baby“. It’s featured on the O Brother Where Art Thou cd, where it’s sung by Alison Krauss, but I like Emmylou Harris’ rendition more. It’s easy to sing softly and quite monotonous and thus (one hopes) sleep-inducing. Amie requests for it to be sung every naptime and every night time.

But of course the original lyrics are too depressing.  It is, after all, a Depression Era song by a father to his baby, whose mother has left.  At the end the baby is implored to “Come and lay your bones on the alabaster stones”.

The line “Your mama’s gone away and your daddy’s gonna stay” would just freak Amie out. Also “You and me and the devil makes three”, however clever (it just rolls off the tongue!) is rather problematic. I can imagine Amie asking one day: “Who is the devil, Mama?” My first impulse would be to say: “A very, very bad man”. But then of course there would be a “very, very bad man” in her lullaby, evening after evening…

So I adapt some of the lyrics… you’ll see which ones. I leave the line “She’s long gone with her red shoes on” in because it seems to intrigue Amie a lot. She sometimes adapts it herself to “She’s long gone with the squeaky shoes on”, because she used to have red shoes that squeaked each time she put a foot down.

Here’s our own version of “Didn’t Leave Nobody But The Baby”:

You’re sweet little babe
You’re sweet little babe
We’re all here so no need to fear
You are my chunky-monkey baby

Go to sleep you little babe
Go to sleep you little babe
You and me and Baba makes three
You are my happy-snappy baby

Don’t you weep pretty babe
Don’t you weep pretty babe
She’s long gone with her red shoes on
You are my tired-wired baby

Go to sleep you little babe
Go to sleep you little babe
Come and lay your head on your big girl bed
And be my ever-lovin’ baby

Go to sleep you little babe
Go to sleep you little babe
Everybody’s gonna yawn then sleep till dawn
You are my billy-belly baby

Go to sleep you little babe
Go to sleep you little babe
Sure does seem like a sweet sweety dream
You are my sleepy-peepy baby

Door (“do-wa”). Dough. Door.

black and white photograph of baby thrown up in air (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

Today was a crazy day, for all three of us but for Amie most of all. I would divide it into four parts:

  • Part one, in which we speak of doctors!

Amie returned to daycare after over a week of absence because of a cold. I picked her up in the middle of her lunch and we headed straight for a doctor’s appointment at 1. That took over an hour and was rather inconclusive.

At the Dr’s office she wrote on the blackboard with the chalk. She made one long vertical line and then several small horizontal lines next to it, taking care to make each start at the vertical line while muttering: “Here! And here! And here!” The result was a tall and very skinny E with too many little arms.

– Mama: “What is that, Amie?”

– Amie: “A huge airplane!” (Oh, those airplanes again!)

When I asked her to replicate it on a piece of paper, she didn’t seem to have a clue what I was talking about, and just drew her usual long, parallel-ish lines.

Then we rushed her to DH’s office where a colleague (also a Doctor, though of the “wrong” kind) wanted to do a little speech experiment with her. Due to her lack of nap and hunger, it didn’t fare so well. We promised to return after her next doctor’s appoinment, which was at 3.

This was an allergist and she got two sets of pricks. She was upset for a minute, then forgot all about it thanks to the sixties-looking psychedelic blue chair in the room. The tests were all negative – which apparently means nothing. Ha!

  • Part two, in which we tell some more about the experiment

Then back to the speech experiment, which she now enjoyed.

– Even Steven (experimenter): “Can you say ‘a heed’?”

– Amie: “I’m not sure.”

– Even Steven: “How tall are you? Are you eight feet tall?”

– Amie: “Nooooo!” (as in: Are you crazy?!) “I’m a little girl. I’m a little bit big and a little bit small.”

  • Part three, which concerns dinner 

She napped for an hour in the car on our way back – we took advantage by visiting the library and some shops on our way. But her whole routine was upset. So at dinner she didn’t want to eat. We set no less than SIX foods in front of her. Usually we don’t do this, but we felt sorry for having messed around with her so much.

  1. Tortellini with pesto, lovingly prepared just with her in mind (Mama: “Mmm, smells good!”, Baba: “It’s not for you!”) She tasted one and spat it out. It’s usually her favorite.
  2. Panda (soy) chocolate pudding. Also a favorite. She asked for it but hardly had a spoonful.
  3. A muffin, asked for in the following manner: “I want a candle.” (It’s how we give her muffins: always with a candle for her to blow out.) “Put it on the muffin? It’s in that white bag, Mama.” Me: “Are you going to eat the muffin?” “Yah,” she nods her head, “I want the muffin for the candle.” I, the fool, gave her the muffin, candle and all. I pulled her back just in time before she thrust her face squarely into the flame. She blew out the candle. Didn’t touch the muffin.
  4. Blueberry yoghurt. Okay, she ate some of that.
  5. The whole wheat bagel with cream cheese left over from lunch, of which she finally ate quite a bit.
  • Part five, in which the title of this post is hopefully explained

Then, it was time to go to sleep, but not before she and I had the following mind-blowing conversation.

– Amie: “I want to play with the yellow doorway.”

– Me: “The yellow doorway? Where is that?”

– Amie: “The door” (pronounced like “do-wa” – like “dinoso-wa”). She points in direction of rest of our apartment.

– Me: “We don’t have a yellow door.”

Amie looks at me strangely.

– Me: “Where is it?”

– Amie: “The door. Dough. Dough.

– Me: “Dough? Yellow playdough?”

We used to have yellow playdough, but I threw it out half a year ago, after it had sat around outside the can for a while and failed to reconstitute.

– Amie: “Door. Yellow door.”

– Me: “Where is it, sweetie? The yellow door?”

– Amie: “Dough. Dough! Yellow dough!”

She was confused and getting a bit upset, but whether at herself of at me, I don’t know. Baba called from the other room: “Are you joking with her?”

– Mama: “You want to play with the yellow playdough?”

– Amie: “I want to play with the dough.”

I gave her the playdough (red) and it lasted less than a minute.

Life with a toddler is surreal!

Amie’s Baby Journal

Fragment page from Amie’s Baby Journal (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

From the moment Amie was born, I started a daily baby journal. I have been keeping a journal since I was 14: sometimes it’s a habit, sometimes a refuge. So it made sense that I would make a separate journal for my daughter, addressed to her and relating the events of her young life before she could pen them (or even understand them) herself.

It soon proved impractical, though.

For one, I had to write it out slooooowly so that Amie would later have some chance of deciphering my handwriting – I usually write FAST and in a kind of shorthand of my own making. Then there was the lack of time – oh time where didst thou go?

But the biggest problem was the separation of Amie’s story from my own – her journal from my own. It was impossible. I tried writing down everything in my journal, warts and bad spelling and scribbling and all, then sifting out a cute story for her, which I penned out (semi-) legibly (judge for yourself), with a little picture of the day and even some illustrations of important objects in her life.

Here are some examples (click on thumbnails for larger view):

 

Page from Amie’s Baby Journal (c) Katrien Vander Straeten  Page from Amie’s Baby Journal (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

 

Page from Amie’s Baby Journal (c) Katrien Vander Straeten  Page from Amie’s Baby Journal (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

Well, who has time for that once the baby starts rolling over and getting into all kinds of mischief? Not me. I abandoned Amie’s Journal soon after her nine-month birthday. It looks extra bad because I was only 100 or so pages into a new moleskine!

I took up another project, however, when Amie was born, one that is still on-going. But about that, some other time…

We met Henry at Walden Pond!

Amie and Baba at Walden Pond, October 2007 (c) Katrien Vander Straeten

Amie and Baba at Walden Pond (click on My Flickr to the right for more)

  • The Pond

All three of us went to Walden Pond today (Amie no longer calls it “Walrus Pond”). It was 83 degrees F, that’s 28 degrees C! We had not expected it, so we were rather overdressed (long pants).

The pondwater was warm enough for Amie, who has been suffering from a cold, to go in whole. This time we did take care to take her shoes off first thing – but we were too late with the shirt. Her diaper swelled up like a balloon half her weight, but she was unperturbed. She floated and splashed and drank the pondwater (we asked her not to, but what can you do?).

We collected stones and leaves and dirt.

Walden Pond in summer can get very crowded, but as you can see from the photo, today was fine, surprisingly for such a hot Saturday on a long weekend. There were mostly families with children, many of them as unprepared for a swim as we were but goin’ in anyway. It felt rather neighborly.

  • Then we met Henry

On our way back to the parking lot we visited the replica of Henry David Thoreau’s house. When we arrived the door was open but Amie wouldn’t go in. The bed, with its messed-up brown blanket, scared her a bit. She said:

“I want to see Henry!”

A young couple who were also looking in through the doorway laughed and the girl pointed at her boyfriend, saying:

“There’s Henry!”

The young man took up the role with ease and gave us a tour of his house: the three chairs, the fireplace, the table and the bed.

Amie stared.

And she stared. Was it because he didn’t at all look like the bear in D.B. Johnson’s books? Or did she stare so because she has a sense of Thoreau’s stature, or of the fact that he’s the past and, actually, quite dead…

Who knows what goes on in that little head of hers. More than we give her credit for, I’m sure!

Photograph of Henry David Thoreau

Henry David Thoreau

(July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862)

D.B. Johnson’s Henry Books

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  Cover of (c) D.B. Johnson’s Henry Hikes to Fitchburg, Houghton Mifflin Cover of (c) D.B. Johnson’s Henry Climbs a Montain, Houghton Mifflin Cover of (c) D.B. Johnson’s Henry Builds a Cabin, Houghton Mifflin Cover of (c) D.B. Johnson’s Henry Works, Houghton Mifflin

We love Thoreau around here.  Ever since our visit to Walden Pond, Amie often asks to be read her books about “Henry David Thoro-ow”. We have several children’s books about Henry, but the core of our collection is the series written and illustrated by D.B. Johnson:

  1. Henry Hikes to Fitchburg
  2. Henry Climbs a Mountain
  3. Henry Builds a Cabin
  4. Henry Works

We love these so much, I wrote a raving review about them for Suite101.com. Go have a look-see!